Whew! And you thought this was going to be "easy." Nothing in life worth having is "easy." Our purpose was to give you options so you could make your wedding a reflection of you and make it one you will look back on and smile.
Right now everything is about YOU. The you is going to become WE. Don’t be so focused on the wedding/reception that you lose sight of that. Don't expect everything to be perfect. There will be glitches. However, when all is said and done, it's not the size of the wedding, the venue, or the dress that you will remember or that make the day special. It is the covenants you made with your companion, it's the way you felt as you married your best friend, those are the things that you will truly remember for the rest of your life and those vows didn't cost a dime. So while planning your wedding, keep a proper perspective. The little details will be forgotten, but the way you felt about each other will last an eternity.
The first year is the most difficult. You are both used to getting your own way. You BOTH need to learn to compromise. When you have problems (and you WILL have problems) don’t start second guessing your decision to marry the man you chose. If you can’t work things out, go to your Bishop, or go to a marriage counselor. Do NOT threaten divorce. The “D” word is a cancer to your relationship – never use it. Try being nice again – like you were when you were dating. You can’t change the other person, all you can do is work on what YOU need to work on to make things work. The nicer you are to your spouse, the nicer he will be to you.
There is nothing like the first time you hear yourself say, “honey, could you put the KIDS in the car.”
“Kids” is a magical word that changes you from a couple with a child, to a real “family.”
Jesus said, “I didn’t say it was going to be easy. I just said it was going to be worth it.”
Here we are on our 38th wedding anniversary (2008) - on our way to the Manhattan Restaurant in La Jolla for the best canelloni in town.
4. Deal with issues as they arise. Don't pile them all up and hit him with a laundry list of things that bug you.
5. Don't keep bringing up an old issue "you always..." Keep to the present issue.
6. Forgive and FORGET!
Happy Marriages Require Selflessness
“Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in a marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concerted effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed if each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness.”
Russell M. Nelson, “Celestial Marriage,” Liahona, Nov. 2008, 94
Come back. Tell us how much you spent on your wedding (the survey on the main page) and email us your favorite photos and/or tips.
From OUR family to YOURS,
Thanks. Have a happy life…and beyond!